my morning

sun explodes through brick
the hope of a new day tricks
the shimmer of a smile
that's been lost in denial
holds the expectation
without a proper explanation
of why it disappears
and is replaced by so many tears

the buzz of so many souls
who don't know their roles
trudge through life under the ever changing sky
with that melancholy despair look in their eye
its all about truth, lies, and survival
hope you all come to the revival

long strides, dark colors, dark faces
all fighting, working, moving to new places
without hope, without happiness, without peace
with anger, with fear, looking for a new lease
on life--this life, the one, the only
time erases both the true and the phony

Next Steps

So if you're one of the many people that are not bound by the many material vices of the modern world, what's next? This is the question I was discussing with my wife as we were in the middle of a conversation about being better people. She immediately said "what about being more reflective, less angry, less stressed, happier, and being able to deal with stress better." I whole-heartily agreed with her at which point in time I promptly made a very non-reflective comment comparing our relationship with another couple's. She pointed out my error and I immediately saw my folly and realized where I was in my own fragile evolution--not there yet; but I don't know if that goal is ever reached, for anyone, in a thousand lifetimes--its all about the journey.

Life is a never ending mountain climb. As soon as you reach a plateau there is another, maybe larger rock to conquer. You know that if you stop moving, if you fail to attempt to climb that rock, the only other option is to descend. So when the external vices are under control it is then the goal to corral the internal vices that can have such a detrimental effect on other things, or people.

I guess its like anything else; if you're disciplined and consistent at controlling the negative thoughts and emotions, eventually they'll disappear. It sounds so easy in my head and looking at it on the computer screen. Its shifting the paradigm. The second part is thinking about where you want the thoughts to go. That is, if a specific situation makes you have a stressful reaction, where to you put that? If you're used to projecting your stress onto others what do you do with it? Usually a stressful situation in under your control to do something about, so it would seem logical to proceed with not projecting the negative feelings upon others and turning them inward, deal with them head-on and come up with a positive solution. This is a simple approach, and there have been many parallel philosophies that have discussed the same course of action.

But that's another dilemma, there is a clear starting point, the stress, and clear end goal, turning inward and making a potentially negative situation into a positive, but what about the middle? The journey? This is the hardest part, this is where the actual "work" is done. But its all just a state of mind, right? Believe it and you can do it, right? Again easier said than done. (sorry about the cliches, but they're true) Maybe, creating some type of emotional tracking system, where it is recorded what the stressful situation is, coming up with solutions to relieve it, following through on the solutions, and reaching the inward, positive goal is the correct course of action. I think this would be poignantly reflective and paradigm changing solution to the dilemma.

Is competition the only spark for evolution?

The theory of fight or flight was first advanced by Walter Cannon, a famous psychologist in the 1920s. It was also called the "acute stress response". It basically puts words to the automatic human response to a stressful situation. This has been our history. This is who we are, how we react to stress, how we survive advance as a species. This is a very animal-like response to situations that we are forced to take action in.

As human we are animals, however, we have also been given the opportunity to use logic. The history of logic can be traced back to the great Ancient Civilizations of the past; Greece and Egypt. Logic relates to the mathematical concept of geometry, which has its origins in Ancient Egypt approximately 2,700 B.C. or roughly 5,000 years ago. When a numerical problem is presented and can be solved, it is done so with logic.

If we look at the grand scheme of things, we see that humans in their current state have been around for 6 million years. The logic was always there. It did not surface until around 5,000 years ago. That means that as humans, we've employed the use of logic, consciously, for 1/1200 of our recorded existence. By looking at it this way, we are still relatively new to the concept.

Why is logic important? It offers an alternative to the concept of this "acute stress response" symptom that has been embedded in our DNA through evolution. Instead of a fight or flight response, maybe there is an alternative. Maybe there is a way to logically think through stressful situations together, rather then possibly having a harmful, painful result. This, however, is not to discount the importance and value in the evolutionary survival technique of the fight or flight concept. Obviously, this evolutionary miracle has caused humans to survive and thrive throughout history.

So why use this strategy of logic in today's world? Simply because there is no need for fight or flight in certain situations when it used to be needed. For most of our existence as humans there was a grand need to survive, and only survive. Now (as I've posted previously) we have the ability as humans to do more than just survive; we've transitioned from the "need" to the "want." Of course, I'm writing from the perspective of the Western, non-poverty point of view. However, this relates because we have the resources, knowledge, and ability to help every society in the world do more than have the ability to survive.

Survival is based on "need." Need for water, food, shelter, and the competition for these things. Most of these "needs" are met without an unusual amount of effort in the Western world. Need to survive, in the past, often involved a competition for these things. Competition involves the fight or flight mechanism. Is the "need" great enough to have to fight for it? Or can it wait for another day/opportunity?

With the common competition for the "need" satisfied we've shifted this competition to the "want." The "want" of a better car, house, phone, or other luxury; things that are unneeded, except for that of shelter, however, in this case it is presumed that the person already has a shelter and just wants an upgrade. Do these "wants" have to be associated with the "acute stress response" mechanism that we needed in order to survive? No. We have, however, made no distinction.

Bear with me on my long and winding road here. The "wants" can included broad things like world peace, absolving hunger and poverty, seeking alternatives to conflicts that have in the past included violence, and narrow things like drug, alcohol, and substance abuse, gambling, stealing, or cheating on a spouse. This short list makes the picture clear.

Our "needs" were solved with being programmed with the "acute stress response". I also think that our "wants" have been programmed with the use of logic. All of the issues in the previous paragraph can and should be solved with logic, or at least logical thinking. We all know how to solve issues, so why haven't we? Because we're using the wrong schema. So how do we shift our response to these issues from the "acute stress response" to logic? By being conscious and reflective in the present when these situations arise.

Re-telling of a story

Human history is not easily digested on a day-to-day basis; for some reason it seems to change as time marches on with different interpretations. This process just pushes history into the fictional arena. It is no longer about the facts of an event, but how the event was interpreted? Every event ever recorded has been done so with bias either ever so slight to wonderfully wicked. This is fact, not fiction. So how does history re-invent itself? How does it change?



New evidence uncovered can be one way that history can be changed, or improved. Personal narrative and cultural artifacts add to our understanding of what has happened. These personal stories help us make connections between our own lives and the lives of those that came before us; and we can find the differences and similarities.

I've been reviewing the Constitution and have grasped the idea that it is a "living" document. The framers of the Constitution, particularly Thomas Jefferson and James Madison, created a document that was somewhat vague, but brilliant. Through their words they left the future open. They may have seemed like tall-drinks-of-water with wigs, but they had the foresight and the complexity to realize that the country would go through tremendous social, economic, and political changes in it's future. Because of this forward-thinking philosophy we still have a document today that applies to today's issues. Some things are antiquated, such as the 2nd Amendment's right to bear arms, however, most of the document can still be used today.

It is important to realize our place in history; our impact on "us." Humans have been conscious of their impact for about eight-thousand years, this is when we started keeping track of what we did and why these events were important. we've gained steam over time and find ourselves at a point where personal narrative and artifacts are recorded and preserved on a moment by moment basis because of technology. I know this seems like an essay for an anthropology class, however, I'd like to begin a dialogue, or monologue, of how we can put in place the foundations for philosophical and intellectual stimulation for the future; that is, what do we, or should we have the foresight right now to set up for human kind in the future; just as Jefferson and Madison did 233 years ago? What should we make crystal clear? And what should we leave conspicuously vague?

It is clear with the population rising, global warming threatening, and the conflict between traditional societies and modern societies coming to a head, that this world will see more conflict first, before things settle. What is the ideal solution to these issues? I'm not sure, however, using the instant collaboration that modern technology affords us could be an asset to coordinating helping our fellow human.

Again I've asked many of questions and have only come up with some vague answers, if that. As I ponder this last sentence I know that the solution lies is action and not reaction; in building and not lounging.

The paralyzed horizon

The mind and body cannot function without one another; they compliment, fight, and love each other. They work as inseparable partners tracing a path to some unknown destination. But yet there is that disconnect; that rare moment when the partners fail each other; when the body is light and strong, yet the mind sobs uncontrollably; when the mind is clear and relaxed, yet the body aches for sweet rest. Have you ever experienced that time during sleep when your mind is awake, but your body is paralyzed? Its fleeting, the relationship doesn't allow itself to fail. I feel like that all the time. I'm disconnected, sometimes I think from everything. But the relationship tells me I'm not; I'm honed in, ready. Where does loneliness take place? Is it a physical or mental piece? or both; probably both. I've let music and poetry steal my emotions. I'm conquered by honesty and truth, I'm devastated by deceit and misplaced anger. Innocence makes me weep because I no longer experience it. Life makes me think that I've lost the ability to brake. Love makes me yearn for it. Society makes me ill beyond belief. People impress me with their innovation and insight. I'm lost, paralyzed by my own fear and laziness; both have existed through eternity, my burden, my handicap, my job to figure it out. Sometimes I'm happy I'm me, sometimes I pine to be someone else; someone who makes it look easy. The vibrations from the bow that glides along the strings resonates in this membrane, both Mozart and Jimmy Page take turns strumming against my skull. Non-sensical rambling, the diarrhea all over this page means nothing to me now, nothing, just a bunch of garbage being emptied out so sanity can have a peak at what its missed. Peace. Love ya. See you in my paralyzed place.

Questions with obvious answers

I fall asleep and dream that my wife and I fight over some insignificant issue. The fight turns ugly and I ask her if she wants us to be over, I expect her to say "No, we'll work on it." But my expectations are wrong. "Yes, I'll call the lawyer and have the papers ready tomorrow." The scene ends with us in a dark, lawyers office where nothing is happening but everybody feels the heavy tension that has engulfed the room. I remember this dream although I have not woken up.

What was that?

I wake up in my not so cozy seat to feel the train rocking back and forth, violently, like it does habitually. I have that same thought that I do whenever I wake up on the train--"This is it! The train is going to fly off the tracks. I hope it won't be too painful. Maybe I'll survive if I'm quick enough." My heart pounds against my chest as though it is knocking on my bedroom door like my mom used to do to wake me up to get ready for school.

Where am I?

I look in the mirror and notice a touch of grey and a thicker face. I look at a recent picture of me and the person smiling back has crow's feet wrapped arond his eyes. My knees need WD40 every morning. The sand in my hands seems to be trickling faster than usual and I can't find anymore to pick up.

Who am I?

My heart strains to make things perfect for my family. I don't want to fuck it up. I question every act, every decision, every step, but yet I know there are gaps that have eluded my conscious thought. I want to be the perfect worker, but god damn it, who the hell knows how to do that? Fuck it.

How do I do this?

I have ego; its unavoidable. The words that I words are as imperfect as I am>mssing an "i", wrong punctu'ation. That's ok. The words are for my own benefit anyways and will probably remain unread, just like the product manual for my broken toaster oven--random, I know, but fuck it.

Can you pass the box of tissues so I can dry my crocodile tears?

Now that I've drooled all over the keys and have slit my wrists so my melodrama has poured all over the soulless bits of manufactured plastic and metal I feel much better. I've let myself release this anxiety and I'm able to "see the forest" from where I'm standing; and its a beautiful forest. Its amazing what a little perspective can bring-sight. Fuck it, I need my glasses.

Continuim

From my last post. There was an article in the paper about a recent discovery of an ancestor of man; I want to say that it was 4.5 million years ago. So if we've been around for millions of years, but this advanced technology in communication and medicine has really only been around for less than 100 years we still really don't know the true impact on society, more specifically the human being as an evolutionary project.

We can see the impact of these advances in the environment around us: global warming, international trade, vacines, twitter. But what about internally? How is it changing our evolutionary road? Our hunter/gatherer mentality that has been conditioned into our being for millions of years?

Since there is less need for physical, or even mental to an extent, competition, maybe the next step is to be collaborative, instead of combative. The Start Trek scenario where everyone works for the greater good since there is no need for conflict and competition here on earth. This hypothesis suggests that there is an actual change occuring. This knowledge, however, may not be attainable for hundreds or thousands of years. So what can we learn, theorize, or philosophize about now, today? I guess just direct observations about how life is different and the same as it was pre-industrial.technological revolution--a simple venn diagram. More to come.