Re-telling of a story

Human history is not easily digested on a day-to-day basis; for some reason it seems to change as time marches on with different interpretations. This process just pushes history into the fictional arena. It is no longer about the facts of an event, but how the event was interpreted? Every event ever recorded has been done so with bias either ever so slight to wonderfully wicked. This is fact, not fiction. So how does history re-invent itself? How does it change?



New evidence uncovered can be one way that history can be changed, or improved. Personal narrative and cultural artifacts add to our understanding of what has happened. These personal stories help us make connections between our own lives and the lives of those that came before us; and we can find the differences and similarities.

I've been reviewing the Constitution and have grasped the idea that it is a "living" document. The framers of the Constitution, particularly Thomas Jefferson and James Madison, created a document that was somewhat vague, but brilliant. Through their words they left the future open. They may have seemed like tall-drinks-of-water with wigs, but they had the foresight and the complexity to realize that the country would go through tremendous social, economic, and political changes in it's future. Because of this forward-thinking philosophy we still have a document today that applies to today's issues. Some things are antiquated, such as the 2nd Amendment's right to bear arms, however, most of the document can still be used today.

It is important to realize our place in history; our impact on "us." Humans have been conscious of their impact for about eight-thousand years, this is when we started keeping track of what we did and why these events were important. we've gained steam over time and find ourselves at a point where personal narrative and artifacts are recorded and preserved on a moment by moment basis because of technology. I know this seems like an essay for an anthropology class, however, I'd like to begin a dialogue, or monologue, of how we can put in place the foundations for philosophical and intellectual stimulation for the future; that is, what do we, or should we have the foresight right now to set up for human kind in the future; just as Jefferson and Madison did 233 years ago? What should we make crystal clear? And what should we leave conspicuously vague?

It is clear with the population rising, global warming threatening, and the conflict between traditional societies and modern societies coming to a head, that this world will see more conflict first, before things settle. What is the ideal solution to these issues? I'm not sure, however, using the instant collaboration that modern technology affords us could be an asset to coordinating helping our fellow human.

Again I've asked many of questions and have only come up with some vague answers, if that. As I ponder this last sentence I know that the solution lies is action and not reaction; in building and not lounging.

The paralyzed horizon

The mind and body cannot function without one another; they compliment, fight, and love each other. They work as inseparable partners tracing a path to some unknown destination. But yet there is that disconnect; that rare moment when the partners fail each other; when the body is light and strong, yet the mind sobs uncontrollably; when the mind is clear and relaxed, yet the body aches for sweet rest. Have you ever experienced that time during sleep when your mind is awake, but your body is paralyzed? Its fleeting, the relationship doesn't allow itself to fail. I feel like that all the time. I'm disconnected, sometimes I think from everything. But the relationship tells me I'm not; I'm honed in, ready. Where does loneliness take place? Is it a physical or mental piece? or both; probably both. I've let music and poetry steal my emotions. I'm conquered by honesty and truth, I'm devastated by deceit and misplaced anger. Innocence makes me weep because I no longer experience it. Life makes me think that I've lost the ability to brake. Love makes me yearn for it. Society makes me ill beyond belief. People impress me with their innovation and insight. I'm lost, paralyzed by my own fear and laziness; both have existed through eternity, my burden, my handicap, my job to figure it out. Sometimes I'm happy I'm me, sometimes I pine to be someone else; someone who makes it look easy. The vibrations from the bow that glides along the strings resonates in this membrane, both Mozart and Jimmy Page take turns strumming against my skull. Non-sensical rambling, the diarrhea all over this page means nothing to me now, nothing, just a bunch of garbage being emptied out so sanity can have a peak at what its missed. Peace. Love ya. See you in my paralyzed place.

Questions with obvious answers

I fall asleep and dream that my wife and I fight over some insignificant issue. The fight turns ugly and I ask her if she wants us to be over, I expect her to say "No, we'll work on it." But my expectations are wrong. "Yes, I'll call the lawyer and have the papers ready tomorrow." The scene ends with us in a dark, lawyers office where nothing is happening but everybody feels the heavy tension that has engulfed the room. I remember this dream although I have not woken up.

What was that?

I wake up in my not so cozy seat to feel the train rocking back and forth, violently, like it does habitually. I have that same thought that I do whenever I wake up on the train--"This is it! The train is going to fly off the tracks. I hope it won't be too painful. Maybe I'll survive if I'm quick enough." My heart pounds against my chest as though it is knocking on my bedroom door like my mom used to do to wake me up to get ready for school.

Where am I?

I look in the mirror and notice a touch of grey and a thicker face. I look at a recent picture of me and the person smiling back has crow's feet wrapped arond his eyes. My knees need WD40 every morning. The sand in my hands seems to be trickling faster than usual and I can't find anymore to pick up.

Who am I?

My heart strains to make things perfect for my family. I don't want to fuck it up. I question every act, every decision, every step, but yet I know there are gaps that have eluded my conscious thought. I want to be the perfect worker, but god damn it, who the hell knows how to do that? Fuck it.

How do I do this?

I have ego; its unavoidable. The words that I words are as imperfect as I am>mssing an "i", wrong punctu'ation. That's ok. The words are for my own benefit anyways and will probably remain unread, just like the product manual for my broken toaster oven--random, I know, but fuck it.

Can you pass the box of tissues so I can dry my crocodile tears?

Now that I've drooled all over the keys and have slit my wrists so my melodrama has poured all over the soulless bits of manufactured plastic and metal I feel much better. I've let myself release this anxiety and I'm able to "see the forest" from where I'm standing; and its a beautiful forest. Its amazing what a little perspective can bring-sight. Fuck it, I need my glasses.

Continuim

From my last post. There was an article in the paper about a recent discovery of an ancestor of man; I want to say that it was 4.5 million years ago. So if we've been around for millions of years, but this advanced technology in communication and medicine has really only been around for less than 100 years we still really don't know the true impact on society, more specifically the human being as an evolutionary project.

We can see the impact of these advances in the environment around us: global warming, international trade, vacines, twitter. But what about internally? How is it changing our evolutionary road? Our hunter/gatherer mentality that has been conditioned into our being for millions of years?

Since there is less need for physical, or even mental to an extent, competition, maybe the next step is to be collaborative, instead of combative. The Start Trek scenario where everyone works for the greater good since there is no need for conflict and competition here on earth. This hypothesis suggests that there is an actual change occuring. This knowledge, however, may not be attainable for hundreds or thousands of years. So what can we learn, theorize, or philosophize about now, today? I guess just direct observations about how life is different and the same as it was pre-industrial.technological revolution--a simple venn diagram. More to come.

Survival no more

For millions of years mans basic purpose was to survive and procreate. All of our social, economical, and political structures were created around this purpose; survival. Today there are still some people living the survival paradigm, but there is also a good portion of the population who do not live in this paradigm anymore.

Some of us live in a society where basic needs are satisfied without much effort or suffering. This is due to medical and technological advances. We have entered a new phase of human history that is unprecedented and a little unreflective of the times. Since most of our social, economical, and political structures have been conditioned to revolve around the survival mentality, what happens now?

We are focused more around the want, rather than the need. So how does, or how will our common structures change? This is a pretty significant shift considering where most of our history has been focused. So whats the next step? What is a practical way of thinking about life that revolves around this new paradigm, rather than the old? Its almost like how do you react to the butterfly when we're used to dealing with the Caterpillar.

What is ever present in this new society? Technology and rapid communication. These things have sped up life, ideas, and have changed how we view different parts of the world. Is mythology dead because of this? Has fantasy flown? I will revisit this soon.

In Orbit

I don't remember the first time I heard the word, but I remember that tucked in a place between consciousness and unconsciousness it remained for a very long time. I had this thought that we, as human beings are like worlds that are dense and thick with matter and that have objects that orbit them. I feel as though we all have this paradigm of the things we know that are in the light and in our line of vision, things that are there, noticed, but unrealized, in our peripheral vision, and things that are unknown, i.e. on the dark side of the moon.



I feel as though this theory of metaphysics, for me, has made its way from the peripheral to the "in the line of vision." The Oxford dictionary states that Metaphysics is "the theoretical philosophy of being and knowing." I've heard and seen the word hundreds of times, but like a scared child afraid to go into a dark room I never ventured past the pronunciation.

I guess that starting point to this issue would be weather you view metaphysics as as random or planned phenomena. If it is planned the solution is simple; you are because of a plan and you know because of a plan.

If you believe that metaphysics is a more random occurrence, then I think the solution is a bit more complex; if there is one.

Random being occurs when the right elements, temperature, and timing line up in order to support life. Then the environment and chance contribute to whether or not a species is going to be intellectually sentient of itself. I'm no mathematician, but my guess would be that the probability of these things happening is pretty small, maybe minuscule. That being said, if there is such a thing as luck I think that we humans may have stumbled upon it. Reflecting on this, it seems nonsensical how we behave as a species, i.e. seeming to destroy more than we create.

The knowing part seems like a conundrum as well. That is we are able to know that most of us use only 5% of our brains, but we aren't able to figure out how to use the other 95%. So we know, but not really. I think that a human that used all of his/her brain might observe our species and either laugh, cry, or being violently ill at our shortcomings and/or what we spend our time being concerned with.

I'm exploring the cliched "tip of the iceberg" so bear with me on my journey. I've found it helpful, though, to write my thoughts down in order to see the trees in the forest.

Evolutionatory

"Its not about the destination, its about the journey". This quote has been used over and over by many. I'm not sure of its origin, but I think I really get it now. I understood it before, but now I GET IT.

I was blessed to have been born with somewhat of a above-average intellect (I'm not trying to be boastful), however, I, for a long time, lacked any real drive or motivation. I allowed myself to get by with any real effort.

Throughout High School and College I relied on my intellect to get by, but then my bubble burst. Almost from the first day of law school I realized this was a whole different situation that any I had encountered before. My world was turned upside down.

Instead of relying on intellect I turned to hard work, I was super-motivated, but more out of fear, than some drive that originated from deep down inside me. In this experience I worked harder than I had ever worked and barely survived.

I finally made the decision to be a teacher. The first four years of my pedagogical existence was based on raw survival skills that included little intellect and little motivation, but more of a flight or fright decision making scenario.

I presently feel that I am at a place in my life where I can combine inborn talent, with learned motivation and hardened by survival situations to be the person that I always fantasized I would become. I've turned that romantic person from a fantasy into a classic reality. This is my evolution, my journey.

I'm not sure what the next step is, but that's OK. Becoming self-aware of how the past has made me into the person today, and being self-conscious of the person I am right now is, I know now, an essential part of me being me. So here's to the journey, for the destination means there's an end and I'm not ready for that just yet.