The mental list in my head has nothing to do with spiritual well-being or mental wellness. It has to do with laundry, healing my foot, making lunch, and packing little school-bags. When my tasks are complete there's a mild satisfaction that I don't have to repeat the process for another 24 hours. My shallowness can rest easy.
But something lurks in the deep, dark, trenches of my mind. Sadness, depression, maybe something smaller than my mind's eye makes it out to be. I take my small issues and pump them full of hot air and bullshit that create's a Hindenburg scenario, destined to crash and burn. Why does my mind do this? Why do I wallow? Why do I let small things affect my happiness?
If I were able to step outside my body and magnify my life and get an outside perspective, what would I see? I might see on the surface a fairly good looking chap, with a decent sense and humor and a sprinkling, only a sprinkling, of confidence. If I watched myself a little longer I might see a very compassionate, caring, understanding and calm person with tendencies to be whiny, needy, and lack some self-confidence from time to time.
I can deal with all of that. I just have to stop the melodrama that put me in compromising moods. I guess its just a matter of being in a correct mental state to not react to people defensively or aggressively.