Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Memories, condolences, and obituaries

Well its been almost a year since I lost two people who were very important to me. I had watched both my Nanny and my Great-Uncle age quickly over the last few years; shadows of who they once were. During June of 2008 both past-away within twenty days of each other, one barely mourning the other. I know they needed to comfort each other in death as they had in life, so it was sort of fitting.

I haven't dealt with it, haven't really reflected on it, or remembered a whole lot about their deaths or their lives; I don't feel guilty about this, just a need to do this. I loved both of these people dearly, their were an important, character changing part of my childhood and early adulthood, until both started to deteriorate. They were the part of my childhood that made me feel safe, comforted, like a warm blanket just out of the dryer.

My Nanny would give you anything you wanted, and all she asked in return was to have a little attention thrown her way, maybe a conversation or a card game. She had her strong opinions, but in the end she loved all. I will miss her for as long as I shall live and will eagerly wait to see her in the after life. She loved her family and her family loved her. I hope she is with my Grandpa and Uncle in peace.

My Uncle Jerry made everybody laugh; that's what I remember him most for. He was the consummate perfectionist; a mathematician for the Pentagon, who fought under Patton and always pressed as to what happened to the two missing points on a math test when I received a 98. He was that rare person who could tell an absorbing, meaningful story, while at the same time have you in stitches relating to his many life observations. He would always start out a conversation with me be reminiscing about a story that I was too young to remember. He would always say "My David" like he was my guardian angel in life, not a Great-Uncle separated my miles and years. He always had a scratchy beard, but I never shied from his kisses or hugs. I miss him so every day.

About two months ago I had a dream where there was a white light right behind me and in front of me was a mix of brown, black, and greys. I came to a woman sitting in a chair with two men standing on either side of her and various people in the near background. I knelt down and it was my Nanny, a younger version sitting in the chair flanked by my Uncle and Grandpa who were both smiling. With happiness in her voice she told me that she was doing fine and that she was with her husband, brother, and family; at this point I realized that the people in the background were relatives and ancestors from years ago. This dream was not contrived or planned, in fact I question if it was a dream at all, or a glimpse into another 'place.'

I know I could never do justice to two wonderful people who lived long, full lives, in a few simple paragraphs, but I needed to do something. May their memories live on through us--Peace.


ConverseMomma said...

They were both such wonderful people. I'm sorry there gone. I love you!

Jaina said...

I'm sorry for your loss. What a wonderful dream though.

Anonymous said...

Great memorial madman! They sound like cool people!

Kathi D said...

It is my unschooled guess (and hope) that dreams like that are actually a sort of visitation. I never thought I believed in "ghosts" but things have happened in my life and to others close to me that seem very otherworldly, and now I question my questioning!