"Its not about the destination, its about the journey". This quote has been used over and over by many. I'm not sure of its origin, but I think I really get it now. I understood it before, but now I GET IT.
I was blessed to have been born with somewhat of a above-average intellect (I'm not trying to be boastful), however, I, for a long time, lacked any real drive or motivation. I allowed myself to get by with any real effort.
Throughout High School and College I relied on my intellect to get by, but then my bubble burst. Almost from the first day of law school I realized this was a whole different situation that any I had encountered before. My world was turned upside down.
Instead of relying on intellect I turned to hard work, I was super-motivated, but more out of fear, than some drive that originated from deep down inside me. In this experience I worked harder than I had ever worked and barely survived.
I finally made the decision to be a teacher. The first four years of my pedagogical existence was based on raw survival skills that included little intellect and little motivation, but more of a flight or fright decision making scenario.
I presently feel that I am at a place in my life where I can combine inborn talent, with learned motivation and hardened by survival situations to be the person that I always fantasized I would become. I've turned that romantic person from a fantasy into a classic reality. This is my evolution, my journey.
I'm not sure what the next step is, but that's OK. Becoming self-aware of how the past has made me into the person today, and being self-conscious of the person I am right now is, I know now, an essential part of me being me. So here's to the journey, for the destination means there's an end and I'm not ready for that just yet.