Thursday, October 29, 2009

The paralyzed horizon

The mind and body cannot function without one another; they compliment, fight, and love each other. They work as inseparable partners tracing a path to some unknown destination. But yet there is that disconnect; that rare moment when the partners fail each other; when the body is light and strong, yet the mind sobs uncontrollably; when the mind is clear and relaxed, yet the body aches for sweet rest. Have you ever experienced that time during sleep when your mind is awake, but your body is paralyzed? Its fleeting, the relationship doesn't allow itself to fail. I feel like that all the time. I'm disconnected, sometimes I think from everything. But the relationship tells me I'm not; I'm honed in, ready. Where does loneliness take place? Is it a physical or mental piece? or both; probably both. I've let music and poetry steal my emotions. I'm conquered by honesty and truth, I'm devastated by deceit and misplaced anger. Innocence makes me weep because I no longer experience it. Life makes me think that I've lost the ability to brake. Love makes me yearn for it. Society makes me ill beyond belief. People impress me with their innovation and insight. I'm lost, paralyzed by my own fear and laziness; both have existed through eternity, my burden, my handicap, my job to figure it out. Sometimes I'm happy I'm me, sometimes I pine to be someone else; someone who makes it look easy. The vibrations from the bow that glides along the strings resonates in this membrane, both Mozart and Jimmy Page take turns strumming against my skull. Non-sensical rambling, the diarrhea all over this page means nothing to me now, nothing, just a bunch of garbage being emptied out so sanity can have a peak at what its missed. Peace. Love ya. See you in my paralyzed place.