Wednesday, January 27, 2010

my morning

sun explodes through brick
the hope of a new day tricks
the shimmer of a smile
that's been lost in denial
holds the expectation
without a proper explanation
of why it disappears
and is replaced by so many tears

the buzz of so many souls
who don't know their roles
trudge through life under the ever changing sky
with that melancholy despair look in their eye
its all about truth, lies, and survival
hope you all come to the revival

long strides, dark colors, dark faces
all fighting, working, moving to new places
without hope, without happiness, without peace
with anger, with fear, looking for a new lease
on life--this life, the one, the only
time erases both the true and the phony


Anonymous said...

Okay. I am going to tell you because you asked. I like the mood you set, but I think the rhyme is forced. I think you need to write small. What are you trying to say here? If I want to write about love, I write about the way your hand feels in mine. Not abstractions. Poetry does not need to be abstract. I make this mistake all the time in my blog posts. I get caught up in metaphor, but what am I really saying? I guess the advice we both should take is to write simply. Love you.

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