I'm convinced that I'm living the life I'm supposed to but during the wrong time in history. I dream about a time either long ago and way ahead. A hard time, but a time where I've made a difference. I've been part of something hard and wonderful. I've battled and won, instead of wept and typed. The life I lead is hard; probably not in comparison to most throughout time. But I guess we're programmed to consider life hard for the mere fact that if it was easy we would go no further. If I had won a battle or slayed a dragon or if I ever conquer a moon beam then maybe I'll have some satisfaction.
Lonliness is but a state of mind. I'm kept company by demons and thoughts alike, the haunting of the past and the hopelessness of the future. Although I sometimes thrive on misfortune, I'd like to try and grow on sunshine. Sometimes I feel like every door I go through is a squeeze that forces the breath out of my lungs and the will out of my soul. For a long time I've run from my dark, but recently I've found it easier to accept it and understand it. Its part of me, just like the sunny side. But the dark side is the reality, its there, its tangible, but its not encompassing, it just is, just like the rest of me. I actually enjoy it, because it forces reflection on my inconsistences and insufficiencies, both of which I have run from for a long time. Whatever, its just a different part of the journey